Friday, July 05, 2002

Hello My Dogs:

I'm still in vacation-mode so I'm being the World's Most Incredibly Lamest Blogger Ever. I have nothing much to say about the Rock today except that I just saw the videos for Weezer's "Dope Nose" and the Hives' "Hate to Say I Told You So" in a hip youth-culture shoe store called Journeys.

Re: Weezer

How many Japanese girls did Rivers sleep with making that video? I love Rivers but his Asian-fetish is getting to be a little creepy and retarded.

Re: The Hives

How badly does this song rip off Blur's "Song No. 2," a.k.a. the "Woo-Hoo" song?

Blur should sue.

I just spent the day at the mall with my best GF Hillary. She spent 40 million dollars on 97 outfits but all I got was some perfume and eyeliner. I hate all the clothes these days. The whole "Let's revive the worst of '80s fashion" thing is too pathetic. That shit sucked the first time around. You think I'm going to like it now because it's 20 years old and twice as expensive?

It's not like, say, Duran Duran.

Duran Duran was lame as hell in the '80s. But time has proven the quality of their songwriting.

Time has NOT proven the quality of synthetic lace fringe on denim skirts, worn with wide-wide belts.

Shopping made me depressed. I have total mall-ennui now.

The women who work at these stores are robotic, tan and skinny as hell, and when I talk to them, I feel like an interloper from the planet of neurotic, messy, fleshy women whose hair is always ratty, whose fingernails are always short and dirty, and who always have bruises on their shins.

I want to corrupt these creatures. I want to give them drugs and alcohol and lots of food, and give them copies of "Brave New World" and "The Color Purple" and "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas."

Can you relate?

Do you ever feel like something's really wrong with young women and the whole shopping culture?

I know you do.

Gotta go corrupt some teens.



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