Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Hi Kids!

I'm going on a visionquest and won't be around for a few days. Wish me all kinds of luck. Maybe even say a prayer. I believe in the power of prayer. You could say a prayer for me.

A note to gentleman callers:

Your hostess is an old-fashioned girl. I am always interested in meeting new people, including intriguing young men. However, as in mideast conflicts, it's all about how you get into it. Call me superficial, but as the saying goes, a picture tells a thousand words. And a thousand words tell a lot, too.

keep the faith!


Friday, September 24, 2004

hey ladies!

especially lisa--yeah, finally pop vultures is on in the twin cities. city pages just did a cool article about the show, which you can read here. sorta funny how pete, the writer, mentions we've gotten drunk together! i don't remember that, but all those minneapolis indie rock drunk winter nights run together in a sentimental fog in my memory. oh, the red dragon, how i miss you. we used to call pete positive pete, back in the days when we were all together at cp, because of his "sex-positive" attitude.


My Daddy wrote to me:

"Re, today's rockblog--Another magical space in LA is the waiting room at

Union Station. A great place to just sit for an hour at mid-day, with

the light streaming through the windows and the occasional pigeon

flapping down from the rafters to pick up a crumb. A good place to

write, too. I hope they haven't slicked it up too much with the


My dad is so awesome.

No milk today.

It wasn't always so.

Also, no time for blog.

I will say this much. Somehow, tonight, despite incredible odds, I got a five-minute crush on Eric Gagne. That's right. So-not-cute Eric Gagne. For five minutes, tonight, I would have totally made out with Eric Gagne, if he had been in my bedroom watching the Dodger game with me, which would have been unlikely, since he was pitching.

It was his mastery, combined with his humanity.

The day his slump began, I heard him on KROQ, on the Kevin and Bean show in the morning. They were all foaming and you're-so-awesoming him, and he said, I get nervous every time, and I get scared, and I don't know if I'll do it. And then, that day, he didn't do it.

So you see, he is a human superhero, which makes him sexier to me.

And let's not even get into the whole Guns 'n Roses thing.

Goodnight, Eric.



Tuesday, September 21, 2004

sometimes you go out when you don't really feel like it and it sucks. sometimes, you go to the magic castle and you remember how magical life is, underneath all the reasons to forget, and beneath all the words of all the people who have forgotten, and who kind of wish you'd forget too.

the magic castle is one of the things that deeply right with l.a.

1. the magic castle

2. the new beverly cinema

3. dodger stadium

4. the rustic

5. beverly hot springs

6. griffith park

7. elysian park

8. hollywood bowl

9. the mayan theater

10. hotel figueroa

11. santa monica pier

12. that seafood place on pch north of malibu

these are but a few.

this trip to the magic castle was so soulfully energizing, i may consider starting a whole new ritual. here's the idea for the ritual:

every month when it comes pms time, when i can't make a single decision even about which socks to wear, and the solitude of my house is more than i can bear, yet i can't imagine where to go, i will do what i did sunday night: i will go somewhere totally weird and new (to me) in l.a. and have an adventure.

it is the pms adventure concept.

i think an adventure is a good way to distract oneself from a restless foggy brain.



Wednesday, September 15, 2004

i should be at the tsar show but my stommy won't let me, cuz of bad chinese food last night. oops! instead i been in bed watching the world music awards which is basically where they give badges to the biggest sellouts. such a parade of decay and sickness i have not seen in a while. latoya jackson and scott weiland provided the damage factor proudly while avril didn't even seem to know they were making fun of her by jokingly comparing her to black flag and the sex pistols.

i thought if i smoked two cigs it would move things along inside me and it kind of did, but not enough. i should probably just try to go to sleep and see if the morning is kind.

they may be a bunch of creepy midgets but i'll say this: no one at the awards lip-synched except hillary duff and i expect we should all be grateful.

rock on tsar!



Monday, September 13, 2004

Hi, Gurn Blensden:

Too tired to write much, really. So tired, everything seems dark and bad, dry and isolated. But it's only because I'm tired from partying super hard for two days at a sleepaway-camp wedding, between justin and shannon.

i owe justin and shannon more than they know; they unwittingly have been a part of important romantic moments for me, and my supercherry washer/dryer also comes form them originally.

seeing them get married felt very natural and right and i felt love hanging in the air all around me like golden pears, which i plucked regularly and shared with my friends.

more later perhaps on the specifics and the photos of the wedding and all that. let's say that it was, for me, the party of the year, involving singing and playing guitar until six am; witnessing numerous meteors; interpretive dance; trespassing on blair witch lands; cute boys; heavy rich talks; memories of my youth and my future (yes, memories of my future) mingling lightheartedly like friends at a barn dance.

i'm so lucky





Tuesday, September 07, 2004

foo foo

my mom used to say that. i think it means, well, actually i'm not sure what it means. i think it means something like, "fuck!" like, when she just didn't have the energy to say "fuck," she'd laugh and say "foofoo." of course my mom uses the word fuck all the time so don't go thinking she's some weird oppressed christian housewife with laura ashley shit in the bathroom.

and toilet paper cozies. oh, man. toilet paper cozies.

anyway, um, so yeah, let's see. well, i spent all of yesterday afternoon and evening with my oldest GFs going back to seventh grade--the immaculate heart girls, the weirdos, the cool girls. i thought they were cool back then and i still think so. we used to buy cigarettes in our school uniforms from pink elephant. i wonder if the girls still do that?

highlights included watching dave chappelle's new dvd, which contains some weirdly unoriginal comedy jokes about native americans, but also contains some poignancy: the soliloquy on grape drink is sad and sweet.

i like how he described the indredients of grape drink: water, sugar, purple.

maybe you had to be there.

we made a list of over-the-counter anti-depressants:

1. wearing clogs (kind of like "you just can't play a sad song on a banjo," you can't be mopey while wearing clogs.)

2. cruising on a bike. not mountain biking up hills and shit. just cruising, like maybe around silverlake reservoir or on the path at the beach.

3. wearing a good hat. elexa hat a really floppy straw hat that was really cute and floppy as hell. the hat equivalent of a rag doll. i can see how wearing this would make malaise improbably, if not impossible.

4. Dave Chappelle or Ellen Degeneres (I don't know about these because I don't watch their shows. i would say comedy records, videos or cds in general are crucial in anyone's "pharmacy." my choice is "The Rutles," or occasionally Steve Martin's LPs.)

5. Benicio del Toro, in general

6. A pedicure: "Hint, put flowers on your big toes!" (whoever put this on the list dotted her exclamation point with a flower; pitifuly, I don't know how to do that with a computer keyboard.)

7. Lemondrops---or Lemonheads, depending on which way you swing. (i swing lemondrops.)

8. Popsicles OR Big Sticks

9. Toby (my dog. cuddling with Toby gives me a tingly rush of endorphins through my whole body, especially in my heart area.)

10. beer bongs

11. water balloon fight

12. good sunglasses you like

13. buying yourself good flowers (i personally recommend my secret garden, across the street from immaculate heart.)

14. going to the dog park, even if you don't have a dog. there's good energy there and plus all the dogs.

15. driving PCH around santa monica-malibu. this one is dicey because yes, it's great but it can also be quite wistful for me. but yeah, the ocean is really the only real thing. i know you know what i mean.

16. beverly hot springs--you cannot be depressed when torturing your body with three-minute intervals of ice water and boiling water for an hour. plus, you can't be depressed for at least 12 hours after. it's just impossible.

17. truffles.

18. go to new york

19. go to the record store

20. as archie sang, "when you're feeling sad and blue, kissing is the thing to do." any kind of sexual acitvity. but see i'm usually depressed because i don't have anyone to kiss, right? so go figure that one out.

The rest are my own private ideas:

21. playing guitar and singing--weirdly painful at times, in a good way, and makes all the dumb bad pain go away

22. writing--anything. diary, letter, email, blog, article, even. writing, writing, writing, magic, magic.

23. a good boy-buddy who excites your imagination but not your heart.

24. my big all-time sure-fire mainstay best friend over-the-counter anti-depressant: strong coffee and a workout. I challenge anyone suffering from malaise or dysthemia to do this and stay sad.

serious clinical depression, i wouldn't presume to know. i'm quite sure beer bongs are a bad idea.


kate, on behalf of vanessa, elexa, halle, samantha and kristy

Monday, September 06, 2004


I know that guy retracted his earthquake prediction, and it was supposed to happen today at the latest, and it didn't, etc. But something's up, because not only is it hot Santa Ana times, but my dog has taken to compulsively sniffing the ground. Wandering my property, wandering the house, sniffing the ground. As if he were looking for a place to pee or following a trail---but never peeing and never finding anything. Just sniffing. He's never done this before, and I know because after having to housetrain him for months, I am hypersensitive to all his ground-sniffing behaviors.

Maybe you don't know but dogs sniff the ground before earthquakes.

I am telling you this with the understanding that by announcing this, I will jinx the possibility of an earthquake. So if there's no earthquake, you can thank me.



Thursday, September 02, 2004

Hi Kids!

I missed my old blog today, so i just decided for the heck of it to bring it back for a day. I missed the star.

My pink blog is still there, at this location.

Can you even believe how hot it is today? We're finally getting into the real heart of the heat, the time of year when earthquakes incubate like babies under the ground and the dry wind blows straight into you. Good weather for drying up acne and hanging laundry.

Speaking of laundry, shit. My friend Julio gave me his washer-dryer. It's really fancy and stacky. I have never had my own laundry in my life, except growing up. having my own laundry is a huge change in my life. Somehow, one of the most powerfully soothing sounds in life is the sound of laundry in a dryer. The ticking of buttons against the metal, or the thumping of sneakers. it reminds me of a happy feeling, when i'm loved.

But it doesn't end there: my landlady is also long-term loaning me her fancy ass espresso machine. I feel like such a cool girl. I have a garden and coffee and laundry. oh, wow.

Have you heard the Kanye West song "Jesus Walks"? It's really good. I feel like this kind of music is exactly what we need in pop music right now (among other things)--a combination between catchiness and topical relevance. Rock has gotten so dislocated from real life--which you need, to an extent. But enough is enough.

speaking of real life, i'm going to walk my dog and show him a good time.


lots of love,