Thursday, October 10, 2002

Hi Mr. Food!

In a fit of dangerous optimism, I may have overstated my level of Petty-fandom. I think you'd really have to call it more like Petty-fiefdom. And yet there's something about him that is so real, you can't deny him.

Sometimes, in those endless stretches between actual thoughts, I imagine what would happen if I met Tom Petty. (Tragic, but true.) Probably, his honesty and good values would overpower my sense of taste and style, and I would get a good-values crush on him. The next day I'd be all, "Tom Petty is such a genius, oh my God. I love how he holds his cigarettes. Oh my God, why didn't I ever admit before how much I love 'American Girl'?" Then I'd be listening to my Traveling Wilburys CD all the time, pretending I was listening because of Jeff Lynne, but it would be a sham, I tell you!

Don't you ever get good-values crushes on people?

Or a good-voice crush?

Or a good-brain crush?

It's good to get crushes on dead writers.

I recommend having a crush on Oscar Wilde, George Orwell, Lenny Bruce, and Lester Bangs. They're such rock stars, it's sick. They really make most humans look like complete rejects from the retard factory.

If you like women, I recommend Jane Austen highly. Her brain in so sexy you want to set the house on fire.

I am procrastinating painfully; can't you tell?



PS: I don't understand how Vanity Fair can have an entire issue devoted to music and not mention a thing about the corporate and government destruction of radio. Why don't they have an article on pirate radio? Why don't they have an article about SFX and Clear Channel? People really care about this shit, and hunger for writing about it.

PPS: Sorry the blog is so boring these days. Got to find the groove again.

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