yeah man

i sent paul loduca a thank-you card yesterday. i read an article where he's acting all tough-guy now, saying stuff like, i could care less about the dodgers; i just wanna kick their asses in two weeks...



it's funny how some men deal with stuff like rejection and grief. i mean, it's so transparent, so obvious he cares sooooo much. as he should.



but yes, he should be pissed, and he should want to kick their asses, and i hope he does.



it's funny how some men say the exact opposite of how they feel in the vain belief that people will buy it.



i used to think that people said how they feel. but they really don't. i don't know how we all get by without saying how we feel, but i know people who speak almost entirely in untruths--like this one girl who's a pathological liar. everything she says is truth turned inside out and slow-roasted on a spit in the fire of self-hatred. she's incredibly articulate---inside an upside-down world of insanity.



or this other guy i used to know who wasn't a liar per se, but who had sort of hand-built this gerry-rigged persona from his own bones and blood and shards of painful memory. he wore this identity much like a gorilla suit to hide and protect himself from the world, but i suspect it got awful stuffy in there.



but that's got nothing to do with paul loduca.