Saturday, June 01, 2002

I saw zombies today, and they weren't a cool '60s psychedlic British band or a rap-metal beard guy, they were real, dead zombies.

I'm talking about the audience at the MTV Movie Awards.

Do you want to talk about people who are dead in the eyes?

Cold in the ears?

Asleep at heart?

Sour in the soul?

People who haven't the energy to get excited about a band anymore--or even to recognize the charm of those who still do?

People who just don't get it?

I'm talking about the movie stars, rappers, and lame geek dork-ass famous people who had front row seats to see the White Stripes and their 200 biggest fans freak out--and do the Robot!--and stared at us like we had unsightly eczema all over our bodies.

I'm talking about the Too Cool for School people, who are the ugliest people I have ever seen in my life.

If I ever start acting like one of those people, you must break a mirror over my head and then take me to 837 Third Avenue, where I grew up, and tell me to sit down on the back hall toilet for an hour, and stare at the chips in the paint on the back of the door, the little faces, and think about what I've done.



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