Sunday, May 02, 2004

Yes Indeed, children of the six-string razor:

I feel satisfied not to be at Coachella today, where it looks to be about 102º today. Yes indeed. It's more civilized to stay inside all day, and then, when the sun turns kind in the late afternoon, take a soul-cleansing shower and make that date. Like last night I went to the Dodgers game with my buddy John, who's visiting from Minneapolis, and my landlords. It was a good game for several reasons, most especially the Cinco de Mayo fireworks show afterward, wherein we got to go down to the field and stare up at fireworks while lying on the very ground where superhotty heartthrob Shawn Green stands, looking all bored and nonchalant, leaning on one hip and futzing with his mitt. You can see his underwear through his pants. He's just too hot. After the game, when we got back to my place, I looked him up on the Internet and it turns out he's married. When I found that out, I kind of lost my heart for the night. It took the wind out of my little sloop-sails and suddenly I felt tired, and didn't want to go out. It's pathetic but I think somewhere in my heartland I truly hoped that I would somehow meet him and we would have this sports-music connection and, you know, one thing would lead to another. Not that I'm into sports, because I'm not---but that we're both passionate about somewhat similar human systems--pop and sports.

I'm really not into sports but Julio got me into the Dodgers, and after hearing all about Shawn Green for a year, and not thinking Shawn Green was at all hot, suddenly over the past week it's clicked into place. Shawn Green is intensely alluring. He looks like a singer-songwriter, not a sports star. As I told John, I can picture him with long hair, an acoustic guitar, and a heroin problem.

I bumped into a stadium supervisor at the game, and asked him if the Dodgers have groupies like NBA guys. He said, Oh hell yeah. I said, who has the most groupies? He said, Me. I said, does Shawn Green have groupies? And he said, Yeah, my daughter!

If you're married to an NBA guy, you pretty much know for sure that you're sharing your man with hoochie mamas coast to coast. But I wonder about baseball, the least sexual sport. I once read an article about NBA groupies. They're hard core. They're much harder-core than rock groupies. Rock groupies are just sluts who've found a way to feel cool and worldly while living in Tuscaloosa. But NBA groupies are professionals, man. The competition is fierce and they actually make a living by being groupies. And they fly all over to see the games. And they all know each other.

Anyway, I'm curious about how/if it works in baseball. Does anybody know?

I have to go to the movies now.

This too is civilized.

OK bye.



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