Thursday, January 29, 2004

and since a man can't make one

he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one

word tupac

i heard tupac's not dead, he's in witness protection.

the greatest urban legend ever ever ever.
hi kiddies:

look, tony, there's no need to choose between ac/dc and def leppard. just because i like "foolin" doesn't take anything away from ac/dc. i'm so sure. anyway, "foolin" isn't even ac/dc-esque. if you're going to get insecure about other bands ripping off ac/dc (which you needn't do in the first place--some bands are so great ripoffs only serve to make them greater) don't be hatin on the def lep. get mad at like stone temple pilots or something, somebody dumb.

i don't even know if stp borrows from ac/dc but it seems like something they would do.

re: polyphonic spree. they're all right. i mean, i have no beef with them. they're an experiment more than a band, but that's no crime. their lack of a singular poetic hero makes them hard to love-love, but that's also no crime. it's kind of like when you have an acquaintance who is smart and pleasant, and interesting in many ways--and yet no matter how many times you run into them, you never manage to really become true friends. that's how it is with me and the polyphonic spree so far. i would love to see them live. i've heard from a generally harsh and unpleasable critic that they were "inspiring"--the energy they have to make something interesting and fun happen. i liked the "soldier girl" song and "light and day" or whatever it's called----though every time i hear it i think of the cure's "caterpillar." they took a melodic bit from it---as did pat wilson of weezer when he wrote the chorus to "surf wax america."

i drank a lot of coffee tonight and it has ruined me. i feel awful. just paranoid and creepy, and all the music on the radio sounds tiresome and invasive. i just popped two PMs and am swigging jim beam so we'll see what happens. the blog is always some kind of milk and honey. what i love best is that i get the sense that even though i have five readers, they are really special people. sweet and just cool people who'd be fun to play yahtzee with.

people who would be good characters in "the three musketeers." i think that book gets the Most Charming award this year. that's what i'm getting most from the book, more than the plot or language---the book's worldview is charming; the mind of the author is a place you want to spend time. it's wise and wry without cynicism.

gotta love writers who are smart but not haters. on that note, our favorite band Tsar got a breathless write-up in the Voice yesterday from Chuck Eddy. the first line is 101 percent accurate. it's nice to see a writer generally get it, spiritually, even if he's got the references kind of mixed up. there's lots of stuff you could add to that review (like the way that "Straight" blatantly rips off Michael Jackson's "Bad"). But I would mainly assert that the reference to "I'm Straight" by the Modern Lovers is not a Modern Lovers tribute but, in fact, an homage to the Pooh Sticks--who made a point to lovingly reference their hero, Jonathan Richman.

it's kind of complicated.

tsar is more baroquely and intelligently referential than pretty much any band i can think of, except maybe the pooh sticks. the good thing is that, as with the pooh sticks, their infinite references to other bands are always kind of like pop-culture references on the simpsons: if you get the joke, it's really funny--and if you don't, it's still funny.

like tony et al., i'm excited for tsar's album to finally come out in may. i feel like there is room for this band now, room that was unavailable four years ago. they say it's a curse to succeed on your first outing, and lord knows most of my favorite bands did not succeed the first time (or three times) they had a record. even the beatles took a while to break in america. it seems inconceivable, but "she loves you" was a minor hit the first time it was released--a lot of people didn't take them seriously. sometimes it takes a minute.

i've said it a few times, like tony, but tsar is the kind of band that makes the world a more interesting place, and makes the art of being a rock fan a little more fun and perplexing. if they ever do "make it," and get codified and pigeonholed as "glam," that'll be fine with me. as far as i'm concerned, that would put them in company with the sweet and outkast, and you just can't get much cooler than that.

of course, as you know, i'm biased; they're my friends---but that doesn't mean i'm not a hundred percent right.

they're playing feb 10 at the derby. bring earplugs or prepare to bleed.

the jim beam seems to be working. now i just feel like typing till my callouses come back.

because i have the most original landlords ever, last night i found myself eating dinner with extremist performance artists (and all-around nice guys) ron athey and franco b. i didn't know shit about franco but he was telling me about how he's tired of "bleeding" for money, and because of his thick italian accent, i had to ask him to repeat himself. it turns out he bleeds in his shows---removing blood with a needle and everything. i'm all, dude, i bleed every month and i don't get paid for it!

haw haw. i wish i had thought to say that, actually.

at one point franco's passionate italian blood got to boiling and i found myself in the odd position of having a four-foot-tall italian blood-letter with full body tattoos and metal teeth screaming at me, "Boy George is not postmodern!"

that rocked.

boy george is so postmodern.

franco b. also hates sir elton.

i would hate elton, but i just can't muster the bile for anyone who ever wore two-foot sunglasses and sang "goodbye yellow brick road" at the same time.

he goes to heaven, period.

plus his last album wasn't half bad.

i'll even forgive him for liking ryan adams.

now, before i go, i need to know: have you been listening to "Listen Without Prejudice Vol. I" enough lately?

if not, well, do like the man said and listen without prejudice. you'll be happily surprised, i garonteee. talk about night music. talk about oh wow make me cry

It's not as though we just broke up

It's not as though it was yesterday

But something I just can't explain

Something in me really needs this pain

I know I'll never see your face again

And if these wounds

They are self-inflicted

I don't really know

How my poor heart could have protected me

But if I have to carry this pain

If you will not share the blame

I deserve to see your face again

You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

maybe you need to hear it with the music.

rock on, george michael, rock on with your crazy bad self.

i love you and i always will.

tonight i found out on KFWB New 980 that the number of dying stars in the universe far exceeds the number of stars being born. apparently, if the universe has a linear existence in time-space, we are on the downward slide of the curve. in short, the universe is now more busy dying than being born. this made me sad.

it's a rough place, but this universe definitely has its moments.

crunk n stuff,


Monday, January 26, 2004

hi you guys

i'm still liking junior senior a lot!

also, i realized yesterday how amazing "foolin"' by def leppard is, and what a lie i've been living all along, not recognizing this.

i am about to sleep for 14 hours and things will seem different tomorrow. i had a very big weekend, you see.

i'm into "milkshake" right now, by kelis. it's making me want a milkshake so bad. i mean, a real one. the best milkshakes in the universe are at fred 62 on vermont. no kidding. i'm serious. i don't think kelis would be so cocky about her shakes if she had tried fred 62's. i like songs about innocent things like candy and milkshakes. it's nice to see childlike naivete make a comeback on hip-hop radio.


haw haw.

xoxo me

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

hey all you sexy motherfuckers!

I have a wonderful tip for you today, this fine Los Angeles day. (By the way, the Lord gets big ups for this particular January day. This sort of day is the reason people move to L.A. This sort of day is the origin of countless careers of glittering poverty. Oh yes, and there's pride in glittering poverty, let me tell you.)

Anyway, a wonderful band called Ken Layne and the Corvids (which means crows) have a gorgeous new album out, called Fought Down. It is luxurious and nocturnal electrified country rock that somehow has its heart in Eastern Europe. Or part of it, anyway. Nothing to do with the sound; just the spirit. The guitars may come from Manchester via Austin; the rest is floating somewhere over the desert, at night, in a Santa Ana wind, just before the Big One hits.

The miracle is that it was recorded in like three days or something insane, in a little hole in the wall in Pasadena, with no budget and plenty of whisky. A band that came together just to record an album and discovered instantaneously that they had an elegant and handsome sound, sprung fully formed like Athena, the goddess of war, from the mind of Zeus.

rock on,


Monday, January 19, 2004


it's sunny again this morning. it may be a junior senior kind of sunday-monday morning. i know it's monday but really it's sunday. can't you feel it?

i don't have a normal work schedule because I work at home, so i never know exactly when there's a holiday going on. but i can usually sense it from the front stoop of my cottage. the air feels different and sounds different and i feel calmer. this is because people are not out and about hustling and filling up the atmosphere with their hustle vibes.

that's why today is sunday.

today is a day we celebrate an outlaw. a national holiday for someone whose entire strategy was to break laws, all sorts of laws.

this is important. and let's also remember that the tactics of the civil rights movement didnt' just work because they were smart--they were also used toward good. the pro-lifers tried to get all civil disobediency and they lost.

the morning after pill is soon to be available over the counter, and the day this happens, a very dark era for women (and men) will finally come to a close in this country. This moment will be bigger than the Pill, bigger in a sense than Roe v. Wade.

white people used to say that the black people (and women) weren't ready to vote; they would fuck it all up and it would be a disaster.

people also used to say women couldn't handle the freedom of birth control.

then they said they couldn't handle the freedom of abortion.

now they say we can't handle the freedom of the morning after pill.

i say, if that's true then i *really* can't handle a baby. so fuck you and your stupid tie.

i'm so over anybody trying to tell me what to do with my body and my future.

good morning, martin luther king jr.

ok bye.


Thursday, January 15, 2004

Fuzzy Wuzzy in the house:

My new thing tonight is Jolly Ranchers. Even the worst ones are delicious.

I have to go to bed soon because I have been running nonstop seems like for a week. Working on my top secret project (which I shall soon unveil), paying bills, gardening, playing the best board game ever (Pop Smarts), writing an article, going out, and doing personal vanity activities involving heavy weights and very expensive skin care products. It's all part of my New Year. 2004 rhymes with more, you know.

Oh, I also am reading "The Three Musketeers" by that French/caribbean guy. It's so funny and good!

I've also managed to watch some TV, somehow. Ryan Seacrest's show is outrageously dull. And my father was right the first time he ever heard John Mayer: the dude is a sleaze. He's sleaze incarnate. My dad is a genius.

love n stuff,


Wednesday, January 14, 2004

kick out the jams motherfuckers

this day is some kind of blessing. this is a perfect day. the sun is slanted and golden and soft on the skin, yet brilliant. the air is mild and clear. the greens are green and the yellows are yellow. this is the kind of day i would like to be born on, and to get married on, and to drink coffee on, and pretty much to do anything and everything on.

except stay in bed with the blinds shut.

i would even like to drive to hollywood and pay my car insurance on a day like today. there's so many things to do. like go to amoeba and pick up the dollar vinyl i have on hold. i think that buying dollar vinyl at amoeba is the best hobby.

i have to go now. bye.



Thursday, January 08, 2004

look, doesn't anyone have anything to say about Junior Senior?

if not, i recommend you go buy their brilliant record "dddon't stop the beat," now.

that is, if you like rock 'n roll, bubblegum, disco, hand claps, cowbells, cute boy action, the bay city rollers, the ramones, the basement jaxx, puffy ami yumi, the pooh sticks, colorful candy and stuff like that.



Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Hi freakenfrankenfuturisticdragontasticadillac!

My favorite band today is Junior Senior. i totally want to party with them and Outkast. They make me happy to be alive on this beautiful day.

let's go to Tokyo very soon with them, too.

can you even imagine how big they must be in japan?



Monday, January 05, 2004

hey rad commenters

yeah i been listening to 103.1 too but the bob marley factor is freakin me out. i did hear some great stuff too, though. (NOTE: I love bob marley as much as the next sentient type but it's music i need to listen to the right way, or else it's terribly wrong.) it's obviously skewed toward a very specific demographic, one which i don't precisely fit, being a female and all. also, the reason i'm not peeing my pants-excited about the station is that as far as i can tell, there are no live DJs, which should be half the fun/magic of radio.

whatever. i hope they kick ass and i hope they last.

re: pills. look, i don't have a dealer so my access is extremely limited. anyway, for me vicodin stops working after two days. thanks for your concern though, dad!

by the way, "dad," are you a musician?



Friday, January 02, 2004

Holy Sweet Fuck, babies! Congratulations to Erin and Jeff on the birth of their beautiful beautiful Christmas baby, Wyatt Jude Solomon. Special congratulations on the middle name (which is also what my baby will be called).

Nice job! He's just babylicious and perfect and I love his nose.


Hey, Snuffy:

So the big news is I spent much of New Year's Eve listening to Mary J. Blige, which was emotionally challenging but uniquely rewarding: She has a song called "No More Happy Holidays" about how her guy is never around on Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year's and July 4, and it's messing her up. Now ain't that a bitch? I was extremely "female" that night and her song "PMS" was also a moment of supreme, how you say---relate-itude? It's like if Aretha were young and doing it today, swearing as much as you know she wanted to.

"I wanna talk to the ladies tonight

About a situation I'm pretty sure

Y'all will be able to relate to

Trust me

Today I'm not feeling pretty

See I'm feeling quite ugly

Havin' one of those days

When I can't make up my mind

So don't even look at me...

Down and out in depression

I think the worst of everything

My lower back is aching

And my clothes don't fit (oh shit)

Now ain't that a bitch...


See I already know that I'm fucked up

PMS I know I'm fucked up

And I don't need you to remind me

See cause PMS is takin' over right now

If you understand, understand where I'm comin from

Sing along


This is the worst part of everything

The worst part of being a woman is PMS

Give me a break, give me a break

Cause I don't wanna have to set it on ya

Get away, get away, get away, get away

Get away cause I'm PMS-ing."

Eminem doesn't get it; he thinks you can be "on the rag and ovulating" at the same time. Doesn't he know how it goes?

The good news is, I ended up going to a party and dancing to ELO, Love, the Kinks and AC/DC. It was a New Year's Eve redeemed by Vicodin and the kindness of strangers.

Here's to a new year full of kind strangers and friendly white pills.

The other great thing was that my current favorite L.A. station, 100.3 the Beat, was playing their top 100 hip-hop and soul songs of all time, mixed by a real live DJ. Not by a computer. Mixed with intelligence and humor. Radio is magic.