Monday, November 18, 2002

Hi Melo Honey:

Chuckie T gets the dubble bubble trash can. But since he replied like eight hours too late, it has to be an invisible one. It's a "concept" trash can, very John-and-Yoko, I'm afraid.

Now for the real tough question, Tommly Chuck: Do you think the Stooges are the original jam band? I do. And I also think Jim Ladd needs to have his bean recounted for all that bullshit about the Doors. (Chuck: He's this super old-school classic rock "freeform" DJ in L.A. who thinks the Doors are bigger than Rod; it's so sad.) Look, I never listened to the Stooges until a week ago when I bought "Funhouse" and "The Stooges," right? I wasn't cool; I didn't know anything about them, not really, except "TV Eye" and "I Wanna Be Your Dog." So now I do, OK, and I have to say, Look, I already went through my Doors phase like 15 years ago.

I know it's not fair to blame them for the Doors, but come on.

At least they're 4,000 times way cooler than the Doorks.

The best best part is the jingle bells on "I Wanna BeYour Dog." I ask you: Why aren't all of you making songs with jingle bells? You could save the world, and you don't even try. So selfish.

You know, a lot of "cool" '60s bands are guilty of the jam band thing, though. Velvet Underground--they could get pretty jammy sometimes. This is the problem with drugs. They make jams sound much shorter and more textured than they really are.

If only bands would get off the psychedelics and the opiates and start drinking and taking speed again, like in the good old days.

Apparently the Beatles' drink was whiskey and Coke. Which is my drink. I have this theory that Paul and John are originally Irish, which would explain the whiskey thing. I also have a theory that Ringo is secretly Jewish. Look at the guy. Gimme a break. Considering the proud history of Jews in rock (Ramones, KISS, T. Rex, etc.), it's seems probable the Beatles had a Jew in there.



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