What's up, Frankenhookers:
I'm eating a chocolate cigar. It rocks.
Faith sent me a Valentine's box of candles, candy and other love stuff. I think she feels sorry for me because I'm so incredibly love-broke. (That's like when you have no money, except instead of no money, you have no love.) (The only problem with that is, I also have no money.)
Yummy yummy yummy!
A chocolate cigar is not the healthiest breakfast. But it is the funnest. (Next to bacon, bacon, bacon!)
So I decided to watch TV last night. I never watch TV, which is why I never write anything about "American Idol" or MTV or anything. But I do have a little TV the size of an Altoids box, black and white, and so I watched it for about an hour. I watched the first half of the Michael Jackson thing.
Maybe I missed out by turning it off midway, but I have to say, what an anticlimax. I didn't learn anything lurid that I didn't already know. In fact, the most embarrassing revelation the show had to offer was Michael Jackson's weird obsession with large urns.
I liked a lot of what he said. I loved the part when he takes us to his "Giving Tree," where he writes his songs. (Did you ever read "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein? It's a killer.)
I also liked what he had to say about songwriting: Get out of the way of the music. Don't think.
Same with dancing. Thinking is the enemy of dancing.
(That's true of sex, too.)
He also said, If you sit down and say, I'm going to write the greatest song ever, nothing happens. Instead, he said, he was driving on Ventura when he told himself, I want to write a song with a great bass line. Then the next day or so, he got the bass line in his head for Billie Jean.
That is exactly what John from the Chili Peppers said in that post from last spring: You don't go, I'm going to draw the greatest picture ever. You go, I'm going to draw a bird.
It's one of those little lessons of the universe that you either know intuitively or you learn the hard way.
I am so excited for the rain that's coming! I can't wait!
I have a big day of house-cleaning and laundry and stuff ahead of me, so bye for now.