Greetings, Dressie Bessy:

So what can I tell you. Today I interviewed this Australian guy who is a Calvin Klein underwear model-turned actor. I guess his ad campaign was a big deal (emphasis on "big"). I don't know why, but I never notice those kinds of things--big billboards and such. I guess I am so inured to advertising at this point, and to "perfect" people, that I just blow it off. If they really want to catch my attention (which they don't since I'm broke anyway), they should hire someone really weird-looking or very average. Obviously gay men are the main target for a Calvin Klein underwear ad, though.

The editors warned me that he was shockingly good-looking, but it was kind of like when people build up a movie for you too much. I was expecting to be kind of speechless and awkward and to feel suddenly very fat and poor and badly dressed. But I didn't. I mean, sure, when the guy occasionally broke out a real smile, some kind of weird movie-magic lights seemed to flash for an instant and I felt the power of a truly dazzling grin. But he wasn't my type at all--he was super outdoorsy and manly and very tan and blonde and sun-dappled. It was one of the least successful interviews I've ever done. Usually I try to sit down and just have a normal conversation with someone, and it usually flows in a cool way where I don't have to pull out my list of questions--and I usually get extra-good stuff I wasn't expecting. But the guy did nine straight hours of interviews yesterday and he was burnt to a crisp. He's the only person I've ever interviewed who just wanted me to whip out 20 questions, fire away at him and then be done with it. Usually people are like, God, this is so cool, I hate it when people just have a list of questions. But those people really want to talk.

Anyway, I have to work now but I wanted to share some really great advice with the ladies in the house. My friend just turned me onto a website called, where you can mail-order two different kinds of contraceptive sponges--the outlawed-in-America Today sponge and a Canadian one. (Remember the Seinfeld where Elaine bought like 20 cases of the Today sponge before it went off the market, and started judging men on whether they were worth a sponge?)

The sponge is a safe and convenient form of birth control that avoids the hassle and general bummerness of condoms, the danger of IUDs, and the creepiness of the Pill. Apparently the Canadian one is also very absorbent, so you don't have a wet spot situation. Since I am a lesbian nun I of course have no use for such things, but I thought that I should pass along this information.

keep it real,



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