Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Hey, Man:

My dear friend Matt Welch suggests that my remembrances of IH are fantastical, while someone on his blog named "Lloyd" suggests I need a "reeducation" in reality. I don't know what frozen star you're camped out on, L.L. Boring J, but I don't wanna visit. And as far as what happened at Immaculate Heart goes, believe me, that was barely a sketch, and as soon as Debbie Urlik or my sister Maggie get their lazy asses in gear, maybe I'll have a little backup from my sisters. Maggie's probably got way crazier stories than me, even, since she was there in the swinging Seventies.

I didn't even mention the Senior Prank Day when the older girls completely redecorated the school to look like the set of "M*A*S*H," draping buildings with camouflage, setting up those goofy "Tokyo: 750 miles" signs, erecting a cemetery with gravestones for the staff and faculty, renting a real tank and parking it across the street in the Rite Aid lot (then Ralph's), and wearing bathrobes with cowboy hats and martini glasses. I also failed to mention the girl who came to school on Halloween dressed as a pregnant nun, and the big picture she got in the yearbook.

I also didn't mention the time Rodney on the Roq DJ'd a dance, and afterwards left in his car with a gorgeous 13 year old Asian girl and her friends.

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