Friday, December 27, 2002

Enter, Sandman:

I had a dream last night about an old lover, and there were two of him, with two different haircolors, and when I wanted one, I felt I was cheating on the other. It was kind of fucked up. I guess he is a divided person. And I'm like Miss Super Divided! Oh, wow. being human. What a trip.

Lots of people are divided in two. I think Gavin Rossdale is divided in two.

Yesterday I was pulling out onto Franklin Avenue and this huge post-apocalyptic SUV comes charging down the street so I have to make sure to swerve into the other lane. The dude passes me and he's driving like such an asshole--tailgating, weaving in and out. And even if he were driving well, he'd still be an asshole, because he's driving a black Cadillac Escalade, which is the most expensive SUV on the market. Cadillac gives these things to rock stars to improve Cadillac's image. What I want to know is, how can any grunge-based rock star drive an Escalade without wanting to rip his own eyes out of his skull? I mean, Justin Timberlake? Fine. Sisqo? You go-go! But can you picture Kurt Cobain driving one of those? Maybe after the lobotomy.

So I can see in the side mirror it's Gavin Rossdale driving, the least interesting rock star of the past 10 years. His music sucks, his voice is grating like fingers shredding on a carrot scraper, and he cheated on his awesome girlfriend a million times, and he thinks it's some big deal that he's cute. He streaks his hair and he tans, and he shops at Mayfair and drives an Escalade. I have an excuse for shopping at Mayfair--I live there. But he's over in Los Feliz, far as I know. The only reason to shop at Mayfair is that you don't want to shop where the normal people shop, at Albertsons. You see, Mayfair is an expensive, rich people grocery store where you seem to see a lot of actors and shit.

Oh well, whatever. History will not be kind to Gavin Rossdale and Bush (his band. great name, huh?).

Whenever some "artist" totally pisses me off, I say, well, he won't last. He'll be forgotten. It's supposed to be some kind of consolation.

It's amazing how people fall by the wayside--people who were so huge for a while. They just fade away. In the past few years, we've seen lots of stars fade away. Hootie who? Sisqo. Blues Traveler. Sugar Ray. Remember Naughty By Nature? Salt N Pepa? (LOVE Salt n Pepa.) Boyz II Men? Limp Bizkit. GooGoo Dolls.

Semisonic. Ben Folds Five. Cornershop. Spacehog. Backstreet Boys. Buckcherry. Liz Phair. I could go on but I'd rather burn my lip on a bagel. 95 percent of bands fade away. That's why I think it's best to focus on your core fans and love your music and don't worry about fame too much. It's so hollow, man.

The Guru has spoken. Whatever!



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