Yes, You Were Right:
About the door thing, and the key. I don't know what I was thinking. No one ever opened a door with peanut butter before.
That bit about fame and fading away.... you know, there's the other side of the argument, too. Maybe a good way not to fade away is to relentlessly pursue fame like a golden chicken of Mammon until you don't know which way is up. That works for some people.
If that's your goal and all.
It's Saturday night and I'm home with a bum ass and work and shit, so I think I'll reminisce for a moment about boys, to make myself feel better. Do you mind?
Some people hate dating. Me, I love it. And I find as I get older that first dates get better and better. I've had some great first dates in the past couple years....
1. The Moonlight Rollerway in Glendale, which has colored lights and stars, sticker and candy machines, a snack bar, classic disco and some classic disco skaters who go all the way back. Me and the fella who took me there are still friends and he reads my blog (hi you!). I knew he was all right when he said, "let's make out and listen to Boston's Greatest Hits."
2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets at the Vista, followed by drinks you could climb into and swim around in at Tiki Ti. This guy was a real sweetie fucking pie, probably too sweet.
3. Walking around Hollywood and Vine and getting our nails painted crazy at a Vietnamese nail salon. That was the guy's idea. I knew this boy was all right when he chose flourescent orange with a diamond flower on each middle finger. He bought me a necklace at a Pakistani gift shop. I still wear it. I knew he was better than all right when he walked up to a lugguge store and stared in the window for five minutes at the old Asian man asleep in his chair. He just watched him sleeping. (It was very Down By Law.) When we walked down the street, our shoulders bumped and it felt all right.
Some less than stellar dates:
1. Boring drinks at the Rustic where the guy lied to me (I think) about his job, saying he was a college animation teacher. He didn't have to lie to me. I don't care much if you have a job as long as you're passionate about what you're doing.
2. Oh, the Worst: "A Beautiful Mind" followed by dinner at La Poubelle. Thank God some friends showed up to bail me out of eating alone with him. We actually got in a tiff because I didn't want him paying for everything. The date would have ended up costing him fifty bucks and I just didn't feel right making a poor theater director pay that much on a first date that I knew wasn't going to lead anywhere. He got offended and angry and that were that. We were talking about "Vanilla Sky," and when I called it "Vanilla Shitpie," he didn't even smile.
It doesn't bother me much that none of these guys worked out. There was a period when I could only get action when I was visiting other cities--San Fran, Minneapolis, New York. I thought nobody in L.A. would ever want to go out with me. So for me, it was a big step just to finally get a little attention in my own city. Still is.
My friend says I gotta kiss a lot of frogs before I find my prince. That's what I tell myself whenever it doesn't work out, even if it is a terrible cliche.